I was horrible in asking for help

three weeks ago my Danish boss reminded me of something important. He first asked me and my colleagues what frustrates us and there where many things I had to say …..the workload the stress all the tasks and demands…. He pointed me to something important he told me a truth that I new but needed to be told “You are horrible in asking for help” There I go writing about a week that started with a self discovery and ended with much less stress than last week.

I am horrible asking for help

Although it should be easy it was difficult for me actively looking for help. It is easy to say and write about. It is actually sometimes difficult to make the first step and ask for support. And of course there those excuses “it is easier and quicker if I do it myself,” and the fear to have less control of how good something is done. There is also the barrier of not wanting to appear weak when asking for help. Actually in doing so this is the only way to turn a weakness into a strength and into better results.

Here is how I overcame my weakness in asking for help.

Be clear on your tasks and prioritise what you can do and where you will need help :

  • What is essential and can be done by me in my current workday

  • What are additional time consuming requests

  • HOW can I get clear on what to delegate to him

  • How to plan and schedule my workload

I used the Eisenhower matrix to get clear about this and adapted it to my work

Important Tasks To Do Today

– tasks that need to be done today

-All of this is important and needs to be done by today

-Check If you can do it today or if you need help

This could be

  • Meetings that re important

  • Deadlines for today on presentations or reports

Plan and schedule

What needs to be done tomorrow / this week / this month / this quarter

– check if you will be there and having time or plan in time for someone to help

This could be

  • weekly meetings

  • scheduled trainings

  • weekly reports or presentations

  • monthly & quarterly reviews & meetings

Things To Be Done Today But With Less Importance

What needs to be done today but is less important these should be ideal tasks to delegate or schedule in with someone

This could be

  • Check ins on progress

  • Reviews

  • send finished reports or presentations

  • less important admin tasks

Things That Are Not Necessarily Important To Get Things Done Today

– Try to avoid these until the workload eases also here if something needs to be done this could be easy to delegate

This could be

  • Doing favours for others

  • Doing something outside of your work scope

  • Checking LinkedIn or Facebook

We ALL struggle:


One thing that is important is know that we all struggle and we all need help. It is OK to ask for help and support from your colleagues and your boss and all those working with you or for you. We all need help and if we do not ask for it there is no way we can organise or get it.

Why this s important

The feeling of being overwhelmed will cause stress in addition to your workload. Instead of being happy at the end of the day that you gave your best at work you will feel overwhelmed and thing of all the things you have not done. Anxiety will build up that will hurt you and you can come into a cycle that is not leading to anything good or productive. Sharing delegating and lifting the workload together will enable you to get things done easier and will give you an easy of mind.

What to consider when delegating

After being clear about the tasks that can be delegated thing about to whom and how to delegate

  • Who has the knowledge and skills to take on tasks and who has the skills

  • Have I set SMART goals on the tasks (Specific goals that are measured Do Have an agreement with the person I delegate to is what I ask realistic and by when does it need to be ready)

  • Will those I delegate to need a training special access or authority

Benefits Of Delegating

  • Who has the knowledge and skills to take on tasks and who has the skills

  • Have I set SMART goals on the tasks (Set Specific goals that are measured Do I Have an agreement with the person I delegate to, is what I ask realistic, and by when does it need to be ready)

  • Will those I delegate to need a training special access or authority

  • You have more time to focus on key priorities

  • Your pressure and workload eases you can feel free instead of overwhelmed

  • It lets you be more productive and focus better on priorities

  • It empowers people around you and develops them with new skills and experience

For the last weeks I started delegating I could not even blog because of my workload and stress now that I learned to ask for help and delegate effectively this is my first post in three weeks. I became less horrible in asking for help in the last weeks and I can only thank my COO Robin for helping me with that. Sometimes you need a wake call to be able to improve and help yourself.


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